38-year-old Jesse James Moore was arrested in Idaho on Tuesday after a ridiculous crime spree . . .

First, he stole a kid’s bicycle and rode off on it.  He actually offered to buy it.  But the kid said no, so he took it instead.

Then three hours later, police got a report about a stolen motorcycle outside a grocery store.  And they knew it was the same person, because he took the Harley and left the kid’s bike in its place.  Nice upgrade.

He didn’t know how to operate the motorcycle though, so he didn’t even make it out of the parking lot.  Police spotted him walking into a Subway restaurant, and then he locked himself in the women’s restroom when he saw them coming.

The owner of the store ended up kicking in the door, and Jesse was lying on the ground . . . because he’d tried to get out through the ceiling and fell through.

When they searched him, they found a wad of ham that he’d stolen from the same Subway earlier in the day.  Employees said he came in . . . filled out an application . . . and got behind the counter like he could start working immediately.

He’s facing two counts of petty theft for the bike and stack of ham he stole.  Plus a felony grand theft charge for the motorcycle.  And they charged him with property damage for busting up the ceiling.