6:55 AM: We are at Area 51!
7:00 AM: There are 75 of us! We are going to storm Area 51! They can’t stop us all!
7:05 AM: They can. They have very large guns. Ugh. Two people have been taken into custody. The rest of us are going to IHOP. E.T. is going to have to get himself out. Maybe E.T. “phone home then phone Uber.” IDK.
7:25: Let’s storm this IHOP and take all the pancakes! They can’t stop us all!
7:30: An older waitress named Gladys just hit four of us in the head with a waffle iron. They can stop us all here, too. What a lousy day. Can’t believe I quit my job for this. Actually, I don’t have a job. I meant to get one today. Really. I did. How did anyone storm Areas 1 through 50? This stuff is hard.