Bonnie and Clyde Book of Poetry Up For Auction

You can own a book of poetry handwritten by Bonnie Parker and a watch belonging to Clyde Barrow! Yes, two sociopaths! They are among items formerly belonging to the outlaw Texas couple being offered at an auction.

RR Auction will offer the items Saturday in Boston. Parker and Barrow, as we all know, were shot to death by lawmen in Louisiana in 1934 following a massive manhunt. This was after the pair became murderous and needed to be executed before they murdered more. They no doubt would have done that, because, again, sociopaths.

The auction house says Parker wrote the poetry in a bank book while in jail, which she probably stole from a bank. Auction house executive vice president Bobby Livingston says half the poems appear to be original compositions.

Can’t wait!!!!!!

Here is an example of her poetry:

“Sweet But Psycho” by Bonnie Parker

I rob banks and steal innocent people’s money.

Then I shoot the men trying to stop me.

But I’m hot, so they made a movie about me.

Ugly women aren’t allowed to kill people and have movies

made out of their lives. Well, except Charlize Theron in “Monster,”

because she’s hot in real life. Isn’t reality crazy? Of course,

we wouldn’t call her hot. It’s 1934. We would say she is “swell.”

And check out the “gams” on Charlize! By the way, I didn’t

rhyme this poem, because a pretty woman gets away with

murder in this country. Well…umm…almost.

Here is another:

There once was a man from Nantucket.

Clyde wouldn’t let me talk to him because he is a controlling psychopath .

Ugh. I wish I didn’t like bad boys so much. Same? Again, no rhyme.

I’m cute, so I do what I want.

And another:

Two roads diverged in a wood,

and I shot a deputy.

Because that’s what I am,

and that’s what I be.

And finally:

I’m in jail right now, and I can’t wait to be driving in the breeze.

Unfortunately, soon my car will have more holes than Swiss cheese.

Other items being offered are a Bulova watch Barrow wore when he was killed, a draft of a Dallas police “wanted” poster for Barrow and a shotgun confiscated after a 1933 shootout in Joplin, Missouri, in which two lawmen were killed and the gang sped away. So you can buy those things, or just wait for a big purchase like O.J.’s golf clubs or Aaron Hernandez’s athletic cup. This whole story gives me the heebie jeebies (also a 1934 saying).

Bonnie and Clyde Book of Poetry Up For Auction

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