Man Sues Popeyes For Running Out of Chicken Sandwiches

As you know, the constitution guarantees us all ALL chicken sandwiches.  We know this to be true since the time we are children.  Thomas Jefferson wrote as much in the Declaration Of Inde-HEN-Dence.  All HEN are created equ…okay…that’s enough.  Might as well tell this story that will inevitably make us both dumber by the time you are done reading: So a man in Tennessee is suing Popeyes for 5,000 dollars in damages because they ran out of chicken sandwiches.  He says that the lack of a crispy chicken sandwich from Popeyes has forced him in such a state that he “can’t get happy.  I have this sandwich on my mind.  I can’t think straight.”  Direct quote.  He is accusing Popeyes of “false advertising” and “deceptive business practices.”  We will see if there is a nugget of truth to this lawsuit and we’ll see his buns in court.  Who says there is too much frivolous litigation in the U.S?  Well, add me to that list.