Dak Prescott is an endangered species. He belongs to a rare group that is dwindling in numbers and is called Quarterbackus Extinctus. Drew Brees hurt his hand last week and will require surgery. Out six games. Big Ben is out for the season in Pittsburgh, and managed to hurt the elbow of the arm he uses to shake Tom Brady’s hand every time the Steelers lose the AFC championship game. The Jets’ QB is out, and I am pretty sure a leg should never bend like that unless it belongs to J-Lo on the set of Hustlers. I NEED A PERIMETER SET UP AROUND DAK PRESCOTT. Keep him away from all danger…including a return of Dez Bryant. Though, come to think of it Dez, Dak, and Zeke could so be the name of the funnest law firm ever. That is not important. There should be 24-hour guards on Dak. Also, 24-hour tackles and ends. I want a Gatorade tester. I want K-9 dogs sniffing his locker and be fed all the vendors’ leftover hot dogs, because he is a good boy. I want a police motorcade to transfer Dak back and forth from the huddle. I want the pocket to include sandbags. I want him to go to Jerry Jones’ face-lift surgeon, so the defensive tackle thinks he has the wrong guy. The schedule for the Cowboys over the next few weeks is the following:
–Worst team in the league
–Saints team without Drew Brees
–Jets team on its 3rd QB
–New York Giants team that Dallas crushed in the first week
Maybe Dak should sit out these games to stay healthy!!!??? But put a pad on the bench cuz splinters.